A Bomb In A Birdcage
by evgrrl09
Summary: JJ and Garcia dish on their feelings for two of the men of the BAU while out on a drunken girls night. Songfic using A Fine Frenzy's "What I Wouldn't Do". One shot. Pairings: Morgan/Garcia, JJ/Reid


**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**So I'm taking a momentary break from my multi-chapters to write something fluffy and short :) And since I had a few requests to do another JJ/Reid story, I'm doing a Morgan/Garcia combined with JJ/Reid. Inspired by A Fine Frenzy's "What I Wouldn't Do"**

**P.S. Yes, I stole the name of the bar from How I Met Your Mother.**

"You know, I want someone who I can just be silly with," Penelope told JJ as they sat in the corner booth at the local bar, MacLaren's. They were spending their Friday night having a girl's night and dishing on their ideal man. Penelope had been single since breaking it off with Lynch and JJ was reeling after her divorce from Will. Spending the time tossing back drinks was a great way to spend their evening. "You know? Someone who I can do something that's really, really..." She bit her lip but couldn't come up with a better word for the feeling. "Silly. And I have to be able to tell him anything. You know? I just really want someone who I would do anything for. Even marry. Because I couldn't do that for Kevin. I couldn't change my life for him. So I have to find someone who I would be willing to do that for. Otherwise I would never be able to do that...you know, get married."

JJ raised her glass and tossed back the rest of it. "I agree," she said. "I'd love to be able to be with someone who I could have a passionate love with. Someone who's smart, but someone who I could still, I dunno, make mud pies with."

"Can I get you ladies any thing else?" a waiter asked as he came towards them. He took their empty glasses.

"Get me a Jack and Coke," Penelope slurred.

JJ nodded. "I want a Maker's Mark," she said. "And get us both two shots."

When the waiter took off to get their drinks, Penelope sighed and put her forehead down on the table. "I just want someone who I will do anything for. Anything. I mean, _anything_."

"Well, what about Derek?" JJ slurred in a suggestion. "You'd do anything for him."

A dreamy smile covered Penelope's face and she giggled like a schoolgirl. "Hmm, my Hot Stuff?" she said. "He really is _fine_, isn't he? He certainly is an idea. His eyebrows, his sparkly eyes. Oh, and let's not forget his abs! Oh my god I've had dreams about those abs. Did I ever tell you about that one dream I had about him?"

JJ leaned forward and looked at her with wide eyes. "No!" she said. "You have to tell me! Tell me!"

Penelope sat forward as well and smiled conspiratorially. "Well, I have this dream that it's the two of us...and just the two of us. And see, neither...of us are wearing any..." She giggled wickedly. "_Clothes_." Both she and JJ burst into wild laughter. The waitress came back with their drinks and they continued to laugh until she was gone.

"Wait, wait!" JJ said quickly before Penelope could continue. "Let's do a shot first!"

"Right," Penelope said. They clinked the shot glasses together and tossed them back. Feeling a shiver rush up her spine, she grinned. "Okay, so..." She looked up at the ceiling and muttered, "Er, what was I talking about?"

"You were saying how you had a dream about you and Derek and how neither of you had any clothes on," JJ snickered.

"Oh, right! Okay, so I have this dream where Derek and I have no clothes on and oh my God he is touching me _everywhere_! It feels amazing! And then there's this huge bed and he does things to me that I don't even know how to describe." She let out a sigh and took a gulp of her drink. "Do you know what I would give to touch him like that even once? Oh, what I wouldn't do to have that fabulous god of a man..."

"Have I ever told you how much I think Reid is sexy?" JJ asked. "He's like this wonderful, gorgeous smarty pants that I can't get enough of. I just want to give him a giant squeeze every single time I see him!"

JJ sighed dreamily. "He's so adorable and handsome and I could totally see us getting old together and sitting on a porch with gray hair," she said.

"Oh, I love doing this," Penelope said happily. "This is just the best. We can gab about our deep, lusty feelings for men who don't want us." Suddenly, tears filled her eyes and she sniffled. "I can't understand why I fell for him! I know how he is with women. I mean, I would have that man's babies. I would love to have little Derek Morgan babies! They'd be the most adorable babies ever!"

Tears filled JJ's eyes next. "I know what you mean," she murmured. "I felt so bad for Reid after Maeve died, but then the feelings started to surface and there was nothing I could do to stop them! And he doesn't even see me like that. He probably never will and I don't know what to do!"

Scootching closer to JJ, Penelope leaned her head against her bestie's shoulder and the two of them sighed. "What we wouldn't do for those boys," she murmured. "We should take another shot?"

"Right," JJ said. Then they took their shot glasses and downed them in one fell swoop.

XXXXX

Penelope woke up with a raging headache on Saturday morning. Her mouth felt like a cotton ball had been shoved down her throat. She was lying belly down on her bed and she sat up, looking around for her glasses. When she put them on her face, she looked around at her surroundings. But then she frowned. The room she was in wasn't bright purple, nor did it have her knick knacks covering the rooms. This room was the color of sand and there was no sign of anything remotely knick-knacky.

She gulped.

She was in Derek Morgan's room.

And she was wearing a pair of his sweatpants and an old t-shirt.

She could face palm herself for what she dreaded might have happened. Rising from her - oh, wait..._Derek's_ bed - she tiptoed around the room and tried to find her own clothes. To her surprise, she found them neatly folded on the dresser. Whew. No sex last night. That was a strange relief. Hastily she stripped from Derek's clothes and put on her own. Now she was going to have to find a way to sneak out. But as she opened the door, she came face to face with the owner of the house.

An awkward silence filled the space between them and Penelope coughed once. "Er, hi Derek," she said. "Listen, I don't really remember what happened last night -"

He held up his hands. "We didn't sleep together if that's what you're worrying about," he said softly.

"Okay," she murmured, feeling slightly relieved.

If she had sex with Derek, she wanted to remember it.

"But you did come in saying a few things," he said with a slight smirk.

She could practically feel her face lose its blood. "Oh God," she said hoarsely. "What did I say?"

"Well, you told me a lot about how much you had to drink with JJ," he said with a slight smile. "But then you started telling me how much you wanted to, er, fuck my brains out and how much you wanted to have my babies."

Bending her head and hitting herself in the face, she said, "Listen, I am so sorry about that. I - it won't - what I mean to say is -"

But he cut her off by pulling her towards him and planting his lips on hers. For a moment she was so shocked she couldn't react, but after a moment, she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him back fiercely. His lips against hers felt like a passionate fire that was going to burn forever. When the kiss broke, she looked at him and smiled brilliantly. "Oh, I loved that," she murmured.

"I want you to be my wife some day, Baby Girl," he said firmly. "I've always wanted that. And for your information, you can have as many of my...oh, what was the word you used to describe them?" He snapped his fingers. "Oh right! My adorable freakin' babies!" He laughed and her cheeks turned red.

"Kiss me again, Handsome," she whispered, throwing her lips at his again and letting him pick her up in his arms, carrying her towards his bedroom.

Suddenly her headache was gone, diminishing progressively with each orgasm he gave her.

XXXXX

JJ woke up and found that she was asleep on her couch. Her head was throbbing and immediately she shot to her feet. She may have been at home, but she had Henry with her. True, Reid had been babysitting the night before, but she didn't know if he was still there. It was sort of awful, but she had no memory of what had happened or how she had ended up there.

Running to the kitchen, she found both Reid and Henry sitting at the kitchen table, glasses of juice next to their hands and coloring books in front of them. Henry's face shot up and he grinned when he saw his mother. "Mom, you're awake!" he said. He ran to her and hugged her around the legs. "Uncle Spencer and I are coloring."

JJ looked at Reid shyly and nodded her thanks. "Thanks Spence," she said. Looking down at Henry, she said, "Honey, can you go find the phone and call Daddy and ask him if he's coming to have lunch with us today?"

Henry nodded vigorously. "I'll go do that," he said excitedly, rushing out of the room.

She sat down across from Reid and rubbed her forehead tiredly. "Ugh, how awful was it when I came tumbling in last night?" she asked in embarrassment.

To her surprise, Reid's face lit up like a summertime cherry. "Well, you came in around two in the morning," he said. "Garcia was behind you, but she took off pretty quick...something about wanting to go to Morgan's to...er, have all of children and make love to him until she couldn't walk straight."

"Oh. My. God." Then JJ burst out laughing. "Oh, sweet Jesus! That's terrible! I wonder how that went for her."

"Well, considering he called ten minutes ago to tell me he and Garcia were taking off for the weekend together and I had to watch Clooney for them, I'd say pretty well," he snickered. But his face was still red and she had to figure out what the hell it was about.

"Er, Spence, why are you acting so nervous?" she asked shakily.

He looked at her uncertainly. "Do you not remember what happened last night?" he asked. "I mean, like anything?"

_Oh shit,_ she thought gravely. She may not have remembered how she got home, but she certainly remembered a conversation with Penelope regarding her feelings for the genius sitting right in front of heart was racing faster than it ever had in her life. It was almost painful. "Er, no," she said. "I really don't remember. Did I say something? Something remotely like what Garcia said..."

He shook his head. "You didn't so much say anything as you did...kiss me." His voice had grown very quiet.

Her face fell. "Reid, listen, I didn't mean to freak you out," she said. "I just -"

But to her great surprise he smiled. "No, JJ, it's okay," he said. "Really. I quite liked it actually."

"Really?" she asked, trying to disguise the delight in her voice. "You - you really liked it?"

He nodded. "Yes, of course I did," he said. "It certainly broke the ice for me and helped me get my feelings for you across." He reached across the table to take her hand and murmured, "I love you, Jennifer Jareau. That's a fact that I don't need to read in any book to know."

XXXXX

_Three Years Later_

"Oh my goodness! Penelope that's wonderful! I'm so glad Morgan finally proposed!" JJ cried. The two of them were sitting in the Morgans' living room and having one of their weekly sanctioned gabfests. "You have to let me see it!"

Penelope put forth her left hand for JJ to observe her newly given engagement ring. On her lap, Penelope and Derek's two year old daughter, Isla squirmed and said, "Mommy, I want juice."

"Here's juice for you, Baby Doll," Derek said, entering the room. He hadn't yet taken his jacket off as he'd just returned home.

Behind him, Reid came in and went to JJ's side, leaning down to kiss her softly on the lips. The two of them had tied the knot one year ago and were happily expecting baby number one.

"Daddy!" Isla squealed excitedly, hopping off her mother's lap and rushing to Derek.

Derek grinned and leaned down to pick his daughter up. "Hey Princess," he said with a grin. "You miss me?"

Isla smiled bashfully. "Daddy, you weren't gone long," she teased. "But I think Mommy missed you."

Reid looked down at his wife and offered her his hand, which she accepted. "I think it's time we left," he said. "We've got to get you to bed at a decent time."

JJ rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah?" she laughed. "I think it's just because you want to get out of the Morgans' way while they go upstairs and start going at it like rabbits."

He paused a moment and nodded. "Essentially."

"I heard that!" Penelope called out. "But you're probably right." She went to JJ's side and gave her a squeezing hug. "See you, pregnant lady," she murmured.

"Right back at you, Garcie," she said, following her husband out the door.

**July 10, 2013:**

**Due to a PM I received, I have had to remove the lyrics from this fiction. If you wish to see them, please google them or I can send you a link to them.**


End file.
